Monday, August 27, 2012

directions (lather rinse repeat)


directions (lather rinse repeat)


she was trapped
in the shower

until the shampoo
ran out at last

because she was
the type of person

who took directions
very seriously

3ight (infinity)

3ight (infinity)


8 = 2 3s


eight equals
two threes

making love
standing up

and afterward
lying down

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

happiness (the only me i’ll ever be)

happiness (the only me i’ll ever be)


The girls, too, seemed disappointed to discover that in person, Tengo was not the same 
as the passionate young math lecturer they encountered in class. He could understand how they felt. 
1Q84, Haruki Murakami


i am saddest at Christmas

and i always thought it was the holidays
until i realized it was the contracting sunlight

that wrapped me in sadness


it was a Christmas rendezvous

what we had become
only these rendezvous

and it was our usual dance
but you regretted rendezvous

in darkness and stealth
they were always too little

but this time you agreed
and brought me a present

this unexpected hardback book
you had found and wrapped

this book and your effort made me cry and happy


i don’t tell everyone this
in fact i have never told anyone

but i am telling you

i am a loser
i lose
that’s what i do

i am sad
i am always sad

because i am the only me i’ll ever be
and no one disappoints me like me

and the only me will always be
the one you did not choose

because i always lose
and this being set loose

is the sort of present
that pretty green foil paper
silver ribbons and bows cannot disguise

the weight of Winter Solstice
the end of rendezvous
the loss of you


i have never seen a gift horse
or a Trojan horse

and i am really not sure how to be happy

but the book you chose is my talisman
my sunshine my happiness

a Christmas card for every day

Monday, August 20, 2012

feasting (how the wealthy thrive)


feasting (how the wealthy thrive)

it is a delicate thing
feasting on humans

draining them to the edge
of the river to the other side

but these creatures are resilient
against the draw of teeth buried

they live to replenish and survive
to be feasts for the chosen few

this is what most humans do
and how the wealthy thrive

Sunday, August 19, 2012

saving


saving


i save movies
like wine

to be shared only
with you

watching together
will leave

our minds stained
darkly purple

like our mouths
and tongues

drunk from watching
and saving


Monday, August 13, 2012

confidant (nothing will ever be to me)

confidant (nothing will ever be to me)


will you be my confidant
my intimate

everything done between us
will be nothing
like anything with anyone else

hushed and quite and softly spoken
gently gently yes
and only only for us together

will you be my confidant
my intimate

and this plea is for you alone
with me complete
like nothing else with anyone

we’ll bend pronouns to our will
and slide them
over each other always always

be my confidant
my intimate

you need never worry at all
when i slip
into a book or movie or song

nothing will ever be to me
like slipping
into you and then us and us and us

inside you, inside me (flying, falling)


inside you, inside me (flying, falling)

I'm resigned to sail on through
In the wake of tales of you

If dreams are like movies then memories are films about ghosts
“Mrs. Potter’s Lullaby,” Counting Crows


do you dream of flying
or do you dream of falling

do you still dream of me inside you
as i dream of you always inside me

and when you wake from these
do you shake me from your head

like a drenched dog afraid of water
or do you cling to these hauntings

as i do when climbing out of sleep
with your voice in my mind’s ear

the unshakable sensation of close
hovering above having touched you

as if we were just inches apart
and not just imagination cinema

coming to people in dark and sleep
where flying and falling are the same

i have mastered the existential art
of treading wind against the undertow

although the rush of air blurs my vision
and i still can’t relax in these moments

unless i recall the smell of you there
lifting me like a spirit in the breeze

Sunday, August 12, 2012

upon watching The Matrix 13 years late (Nerd Rules)

upon watching The Matrix 13 years late (Nerd Rules)


i am just more than half a century
into the American Dream
and i know these to be true:

(a) high school bullies and college frat boys always win
(b) the Mythmakers create the Myths that make them real

and you don’t, and not you, and not you
no matter if you play by the rules
no matter how hard you try

Charlatans beget Charlatans beget Charlatans
and they eat the rest for breakfast
wiping their mouths with $100 bills

and thus we have only one recourse
Science Fiction

the Nerds build imaginary Other Worlds
where high school bullies and frat boys lose
to the Chosen One (the Alpha-Nerd)

and so i am carried into the second half
of my mortal century by these Other Worlds
having just learned the Nerd Rules from The Matrix[1]:

Nerd Rule

The Game is not about being the Chosen One
it is about being the One She chooses to Love

Nerd Rule Reloaded

when She finally chooses you to be the One
you’ll probably be dead as She kisses you

Nerd Rule Revolutions

i reach into the mirror to the Other World
holding out my hand for You (Only You)
because the Chosen One believes in Coyotes


[1] we’ll never be as pretty as Keanu Reeves however

Saturday, August 11, 2012

rendezvous (what lonely people do, pt. 2)

rendezvous (what lonely people do, pt. 2)


i fell in love with you
at each and every rendezvous

and that was the problem
all along and in the end

to offer in my deepest for you
only these sporadic rendezvous

and these places remain around me
passing them these reminders of us

there is a church parking lot
where we would steal moments

morning rendezvous in your car
i’d bring you breakfast and coffee

you’d turn putting your feet in my lap
this moment of giving that simmers still

i drive by that place now
a rendezvous always there

i fall in love with you
at each and every rendezvous

and that is the problem
all along and in the end

what lonely people do
on the other side of rendezvous

recognize

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

what lonely people do (we)


what lonely people do (we)


dream

we wake up alone
from dreams where
lost lovers visited us

lying against us
the curve of skin to skin
and talking talking talking

pretend

we fall in love
on Twitter
with tiny photos

140 characters
Favorites and Retweets
like “I love you”

recreate

we hear their voices
see their faces
and turn with joy

to find them not there
except in the pounding
of our hearts longing

drift

we are held to the planet
barely just barely
by gravity’s pull

but our chests are empty
like hot air balloons
craving the sky the sky

hold

we’ve known holding hands
and the mistake of letting go
each time it was offered

because right at that moment
that moment seemed forever
until it was gone gone and gone

fear