Saturday, December 8, 2012

time travel (in this time after the End)

time travel (in this time after the End)

It would liberate me forever from this hopeless prison, this pain of being me.”
Letter from Lieutenant MamiyaThe Wind-Up Bird ChronicleHaruki Murakami

it is 2010 i fall back to
tumble fully and deeply
unlike any SF film or book

i am sitting at a bar
in Savannah, Georgia
it is loud and i am tired

i am with cycling friends
but alone on a single stool
at the corner of the bar

exhaustion and beer cloud
my mind steeled by noise
until one song opens it

i shout to a friend beside me
who sings this song?”
he answers wrong but close

my search for “Frances”
finds Florence + the Machine
to lie buried almost two years

that was before the fall
but very close to the End
i did not and could not see

when i listen to that music now
i trip and slip back two years
and look at my empty hands

Florence + the Machine pulses
into my chest a soundtrack
for all my time indistinguishable

my past my present and my future
have blurred like a Tralfamadorian
nightmare—“this pain of being me

in this time after the End
no different really than
before or during or after

i am reading my second
Murakami novel all alone
sitting at the bottom of a well

i wake each morning now
to negotiate with frailty
insolence and calcification

i depend on strangers’ words
sung and written and spun
keeping a dead heart beating

and i am a time traveller true
fixed at no point in time because
there is no point to time alone

i touch the cover of the novel
and test its weight in my hand
before beginning to read again

i plug the iPod into my car stereo
and choose Florence + the Machine
to wrap myself for returning to you

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