to lie in bed (appeasement)

to lie in bed (appeasement)

“Anyone who falls in love is searching for the missing pieces of themselves.

So anyone who’s in love gets sad when they think of their lover.”

—Oshima, Kafka at the Shore, Haruki Murakami

maybe these were all acts of appeasement

gentleness sculpted from arcs of imbalance

we found moments to share our other worlds

despite the gravity of our efforts against orbits

there was a time like many many other times

i visited your apartment and spent the night

you insisted i share your bed in a platonic truce

so we arrived between sheets anxious travellers

to lie in bed side by side you doing crosswords

i imagine my face between bare shoulder blades

you have the room cold because you know me

and then you drape your left leg over my right

you are smiling and concentrating on the puzzle

and we both remain silent in the chilled bedroom

we found ourselves there in layers to lie in bed

to lie to those who did not know we were together

to lie to each other as we ignored shared longing

to lie to ourselves about the world we had missed

to lie in bed was precious like a translucent marble

treasured by a child in wonderment for a cat’s eye

that night and other times when i pressed my foot
against the sole of yours they fit perfectly perfectly