other men have squandered this

other men have squandered this

True, a new mistress now I chase

“To Lucasta, Going to the Wars,” Richard Lovelace

I never wanted no one else
I tried my best to be somebody you'd be close to
Hand in hand like lovers are supposed to
“Hand in Hand,” Dire Straits

there were times it was mostly for war

and i suppose that remains true today

but men will begin to look right past you

as they rush to do the things they must do

the work that they say is for a better life

as if you are not breathing there in the room

how must you feel each time being second

how must you feel each time invisible and alone

we stop them just outside the door and ask

about the color of your nail polish and shoes

when they admit rushing away not to be late

that they aren’t even sure if you wore either

•

other men have squandered this i know

but the matter for me can be only you

my sole rush is to look directly in your eyes

and to listen to every single word you speak

so that we will be the only real and true

lying against each other in our shared nights

when they come to look past you explaining

as they hurry off to those things that matter

there kneeling before you always i will be

kissing your knee as my first solemn promise

many men have squandered this i know

because losing it forced me to sleep alone

waking to realize your return was only a dream

you were not angry and came bearing evidence