Why would you shatter somebody like me
“You Were a Kindness,” The National
My memory drives the people in my life crazy because I remember everything, always, in exacting detail. My memory was a gift until it became a curse, until no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t forget things I desperately needed to forget so I might survive.
An Untamed State, Roxane Gay
billowing smoke that forces me to lie
#
first i had to gather everything
in order to shred it all carefully
i formed a frame with six sticks
where the pyre smoldered to soot
the smell lingered reminding me
of melting 1000 pennies or dreams
this is how i turn from year to year
collecting ash to ash for the rising
because there are thunder and storms
in springtime leaving a blanket of hail
#
the heart is not flame retardant Kevlar
and memories never work as kindling
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