the absence of her

the absence of her

"This is the Book, these are the Pages, here is the Writing."

MaddAddam, Margaret Atwood

mostly it is true

that men wear their affections

their passions and longings

their carnal cravings

on their skin and in their hands

as well as their lips and tongues

because it is palpable and corporeal

like washing up on shore from a sunken ship

but just as he had learned (he thought)

to live (if it could be called “living”)

with the absence of her (like an anchor)

he found himself in tears on the couch

in the final chapters of the book

he had wanted to read with her

just to be able to talk about with her

he was reduced to sobbing uncontrollably

yes it was the book of course

but it was the book you see
in the absence of her that twisted

him inside out and left him that alone

wiping tears away from his contacts

and off the lenses of his reading glasses

his chest heaving and aching

and his skin a moon-lit desert (an empty hand)