i have begun to pray
which seems a silly thing
in the godless rubble of my life
and these are my prayers in hell
i turn on all the lights
and keep my eyes wide open
without blinking or looking away
and i say
tell me you love me
to watch your mouth and throat
i turn off all the lights
and rest my finger tips on your lips
closing my eyes as tight as possible
and i say
tell me you love me
to feel those words form right there
i ask you to lie on the bed
and i slip off your shirt and bra
to rest my ear against your bare chest
and i say
tell me you love me
to press against that single vibration
•
and then i ask you to die your hair red
something stark and unnatural
not to hide or avoid your natural blonde
or the gray you will become
who you are and who you have been
and who you will be i love
not for me to make a list of all
the things you owe me
but for me to make a list of all
the things i owe you
•
everything i whisper
over and over
everything
it becomes the sound my lungs make
every time i inhale
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