i stood too long at the edge of us (tighter)

i stood too long at the edge of us (tighter)

I watched you fall.
I think I pushed.

“Diminished,” R.E.M.

i did not rush into a burning building

carrying you through smoke and flames to safety

i did not leap off a cliff into a churning river

pulling you against the current and resuscitating you on the shore

i did stand too long at the edge of us

leaving you no recourse except to push me overboard at last

•

[otherwise]

if i had not caved to fear and “quiet desperation”

if i had stood fully and openly at the center of us

we have not seen each other for a long time

and you lie on the bed asking me to hold you

with your arms and legs wrapped firmly around me

i know that the only thing i should do is say “tighter”