surrender (when they come for me)

surrender (when they come for me)

And the more I thought about it, the more I dug out my memory things I had overlooked or forgotten. I realized then that a man who had lived only one day could easily live for a hundred years in prison. He would have enough memories to keep him from being bored. In a way, it was an advantage.

Mersault, The Stanger, Albert Camus

[death]

when they come for me

i will not put up a fight

as they rush me from behind

pinning me down to earth

underneath the weight of a knee

bloodied mouth and handcuffed

my hopelessness will seem brave

my solitude will cloak me like armor

i am a warrior monk celibate and monogamous

as i have surrendered my sword to prayer

burying little scrolls of you in my lungs

tattooing haiku of you beneath my tongue

each heart beat a confession of supplication

eyes blinking Morse code meditations

for a man cast aside faith is a silent weapon

against the undertow calling like Sirens

gods and mortals alike are offended and angry

because bones can break but i cannot

captured and sentenced to life in prison

as if that changes anything

as if that changes anything

•

[resurrection]

whispering to myself no longer praying

the secrets of a dead man walking

if it were you slipping up behind me

your hand on my shoulder to turn me around

your hand taking mine as we face to face

look at all that has come before to this place

that could be the end to this crusade

a façade of all that we have failed to share

i am weary of being a solitary soldier

whose only grace is recollection and belief

and that is the truth behind the legend

of my falling under the weight of their assault