i cannot stop this film of you
playing continuously in my mind
because i never stop thinking
and i never stop thinking of you
it is impossible i know to separate
memory dreams and ceaseless monologues
all of them starring you in absentia
all of them beyond my capacity to control
•
i am driving during a muggy August night
after a humid summer day in the South
drenched by a late afternoon thunderstorm
the asphalt glimmers wet in the headlights
and fog rises off the road like white flames
as if i am driving through a B-movie set
this campy Transylvania transforms me
as i approach the church parking lot
where we stole time summer mornings
when we held onto the rendezvous of us
as i held your feet in my lap and hands
while you drank the coffee i brought you
i begin to write this poem as i struggle
against the urge to turn into that church
to park where we once parked and to wait
vampires live forever as gift and curse
as you live forever in this film of you
although no longer in the mirror of my days
•
i cannot stop this film of you
playing continuously in my mind
Transylvania haunts me because
i do not want this movie to end
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