Sunday, January 26, 2014

a bad day (not the worse part)

a bad day (not the worse part)


most days anxiety and OCD
surround me nibbling at the edges
like pilot fish

but there are days
when they are an anvil
anchoring to paralysis

i had a bad day last week
driving to work before it hit
fear that i had left the stove on

i had spent the morning
doing six things at once as usual
including heating a pan of water

unsure and almost the entire way to work
a drive almost an hour long one way
i turned around to drive back home

the stove was off of course
and that morning trip became
almost three hours driving

but that was not the worse part

i had no one to tell this story
to confess how embarrassing and silly
i felt a prisoner of these compulsions

although that isn’t entirely true
i could not tell you
and that was the worse part

i imagine telling you
and knowing that you know
and maybe you take my hand in yours

you would still see the me you care for
i could say i was embarrassed
and in the end hand in hand remains

i am alone however and i sigh

most days anxiety and OCD
surround me nibbling at the edges
like pilot fish

but there are days
when they are an anvil
anchoring to paralysis

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