Wednesday, May 15, 2013

wonderland (Yen To Dollar pt. 2)


wonderland (Yen To Dollar pt. 2)

"There's a science to walking through windows"
“Graceless,” The National


Yen To Dollar found herself by the ocean
a young woman now completely of the island

there were days when she was alone, very alone
the morning cool in the bright rising sun of spring

she could not recall what had brought her to the shore
could not fathom how the dominoes had fallen

tracing the path that led her to a life filled with wonder
a view of ceaseless water reaching to the horizon arc

but she could and often did imagine a man, Tarame
(she had never known and had never even seen him)

who sat near the ocean carving matchstick sculptures
who had everything swept out to sea in a hurricane

who never had a daughter and tasted bitter solitude
she went beyond imagining to feeling as if this were she


often sitting by herself
unable to reform her past

Yen To Dollar would ask aloud
Tarame, what are you telling me?”

and then she was flooded with longing
knowing the wordless messages

only imagined and never lived like faeries
that ride on ocean breezes and tides


she believed in the possibility
that with a scalpel
she would be able to separate

dream memory imagination
and come to understand
this moment when she was a child

in a hotel room at the beach with her parents
she walked into a shut sliding glass door
drawn to the balcony by seagulls and ocean


once as she sat watching a small child cry
standing in the sand as her family walked away
Yen To Dollar recognized herself transfixed

not Japanese not American
only this child rightfully named Anomaly
no one loved the curve of her ear

no one longed for the sound of her voice
no one waited for her in the bed she slept in
none of these gifts in her bones

and all this shook her
like a glass door she could not see
but felt as she stepped through it

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