wonderland (Yen To Dollar pt. 2)
"There's a science to walking through windows"
“Graceless,” The National
Yen To Dollar found herself by the ocean
a young woman now completely of the island
there were days when she was alone, very alone
the morning cool in the bright rising sun of spring
she could not recall what had brought her to the shore
could not fathom how the dominoes had fallen
tracing the path that led her to a life filled with wonder
a view of ceaseless water reaching to the horizon arc
but she could and often did imagine a man, Tarame
(she had never known and had never even seen him)
who sat near the ocean carving matchstick sculptures
who had everything swept out to sea in a hurricane
who never had a daughter and tasted bitter solitude
she went beyond imagining to feeling as if this were she
•
often sitting by herself
unable to reform her past
Yen To Dollar would ask aloud
“Tarame, what are you telling me?”
and then she was flooded with longing
knowing the wordless messages
only imagined and never lived like faeries
that ride on ocean breezes and tides
•
she believed in the possibility
that with a scalpel
she would be able to separate
dream memory imagination
and come to understand
this moment when she was a child
in a hotel room at the beach with her parents
she walked into a shut sliding glass door
drawn to the balcony by seagulls and ocean
•
once as she sat watching a small child cry
standing in the sand as her family walked away
Yen To Dollar recognized herself transfixed
no one loved the curve of her ear
no one longed for the sound of her voice
no one waited for her in the bed she slept in
none of these gifts in her bones
and all this shook her
like a glass door she could not see
but felt as she stepped through it
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