Then I pace in circles, waiting for me to show up. I wait and I wait, you know.
I wait and I wait in the office, she said, but me never comes. (p. 188)
Violet, Feed, M. T. Anderson
one by one
and over many many years
they took him aside
guiding him by the elbow
leaning in close
before whispering through a smile
“you’ve got to be reasonable, man”
they would say or something like it
“only with reason are we able”
one actually added once nodding
he developed no callouses
against such a relentless onslaught
and masking proved impossible
for him with his heart born on his sleeve
•
and he found he was able
to calmly pull his elbow free
by imaging he was buying her
a new pair of black boots with buckles
and he would hand her the box
while thinking of what she might wear
his heart certain that everything
matched perfectly her slipping into boots
•
of course his dreams were never reasonable
the dream began in the middle of everything
the day was gray both the sky and the ocean
he lived in a beachside condominium
with giant windows for all of the walls
a large and much older house stood nearby
its wooden deck on stilts reaching to the sea
and he knew as if someone were telling him
that the older house was soon to collapse
because the ocean was pulling away from the shore
no longer supporting the frail old house all alone
and then the deck collapsed and the house leaned
as he realized again as if someone were telling him
that the old house was some sort of library
filled in every room with books and books and books
how would he ever find anyone to help him save them
rushing into this house not on fire but about to fall
he woke to the anxiety of losing books in a dream house
heavy as black buckled boots walking across his heart
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